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It's been 6 days and there still isn't a Customer Support FAQ for the Family Progression feature. Many fan pages, including ours, are getting hit with a lot of questions. In the past, when a permanent and large feature has been added to the game, we've gotten a lot of input from Zynga. Trader No-Goh and the new Inventory Page even had videos to help us understand. There are too many unanswered questions and I hope Zynga will address them soon. Below is a reprint of what I envision the page will look like when they get around to posting it.

Family Progression FAQ

Updated 08/10/2011 at 00:30

Still resisting the Family Module? We got you now! Join a Family and and you will get extra experience and sick perks that will make those flying solo scream foul. There is no escaping the allure of a Family. The Family Progression feature was designed to get you into and keep you in a Family.  What are you waiting for?  If you can't find a suitable Family, be a Rock Star and spend 50 Reward Points to start your own.


Q: Why did some Families get the Family Progress feature days before others? Don't you think this is totally unbalancing the playing field?
A: Each feature and event is slowly rolled out to our players. Not all Families will initially have this feature on their account.

Q: Why do you always slow roll us like that?
A. When we release a new feature into the game, we want to ensure that it does not create instability and functions in the way that it was intended. Although we try to release it to the wider audience as quickly as possible, it is imperative that we make sure that it will not interfere with your enjoyment of the game.

Q: Why the hell is this thing so confusing?
A: We like to give our players the element of self discovery. If we hand fed you the instructions, it would seem too easy. Confusion doesn't always lead to player retention but if you spend a few hours figuring it out, you would be less likely to quit. Think back to how long it took you to figure out the new Inventory system. It's kind of like that only we didn't have time to make a fancy video or provide a technical FAQ this time around. We've found waiting for the community to figure it out makes it easier for us. Go here to get all of your hard questions answered. Who has time to go through all the details? We don't.

Q: What are these Perks and why should I go through all this trouble to get them?
A: Perks are like boosts for your character. They provide benefits that will help you in the various elements of the game. We want all of you to be in a Family and felt these perks would encourage players. The social element of the game is all we have left to keep you playing. Those flying solo are more likely to quit than those in Families.

Q: If Perks are so cool then why do you describe them as "Sick" on the Home Page?
A: Sick is actually how a cool person describes something that is beyond awesome. Go here to learn more and get with the times.

Q: I noticed we are given progress bars and we need 100% to get to the next level. Why won't you tell us how much experience is needed to complete each level?
A: We didn't want to scare you off the feature. It's going to take months maybe even years to complete it. Unfortunately the guys over at Team Spockholm figured out the formula and the cat is out of the bag. To get the experience needed to advance to the next level, go to the Spockholm Mafia Tools Fan Page and follow the instructions.

Q: Hey! My friend gets more experience for himself and his Family than I do. How is this fair?
A: There are currently two different timers. One is every 24 hours and the other is 7 days, The amount of experience that a player or a Family can get in one week is exactly the same. The only difference is the collection increments on the weekly timer is multiplied by 7 and can only be collected once where the 24 hour timer can can be collected upon daily. Our reason for doing this is because we realized that the 24 hour timer enabled players to selectively use the smaller experience bonuses to level up more frequently and we can't have that. We are setting the stage for a big nerf and felt this was the best way to not make it look so obvious.

Q: Hey! My friend gets to collect experience for himself and his Family more frequently than I do. How is this fair?
A: Please see the answer to the question above.

Q: We could master Family Progression a lot faster if we could add more than 100 members to our Family. Why won't you increase the limit?
A: You answered your own question. We don't want you to finish this anytime soon. It was designed to take a long time to complete. We made the first few levels easy to get you hooked. We also put a cap on how much each Family member can contribute per day or week so those using scripts would not have an advantage. If we allowed giant Families, the smaller Families would go ape shit with complaints of unfairness. We saw how that turned out with the war loot debacle.

Q: My Godfather is a big doucebag and kicked me out of the Family for no reason. I lost all of my Perks. How can I get them back?
A: Perks stay in the Family. If you leave a Family, or in your case get kicked out of one, you lose all the perks. The only way to get them back is to kiss ass or join a new Family. In the event of an unjust dismissal from a Family, Customer Support can not help you. This is real life and you need to suck it up and move on.


For those who haven't figured it out, this is a spoof and not a real Customer Support Page.

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Article written by Jennifer Patterson, Creator of the MW Loot Lady Blog, The Mafia Wars Loot Lady Facebook Fan Page and Co-Host of The Informant Podcast. All material is protected by copyright law