Mar 3, 2011

Mafia Wars Assassination 411 & FAQ

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Warning:  This is a SPOOF. Anyone believing it to be true should should seek immediate Psychological Evaluation before contacting Zynga .

Eike Meier turned on his super stellar Spockholm secret skills and located a special Customer Support 411. It appears that Zynga would like the Mafia Wars community to branch out into the other games.  RewardVille isn't going to cut it and they need the Mafia Wars mesogroups of whiners, complainers and criticizers to provide feedback.  I will soon be writing a blog about PetVille and it will be great. I look forward to cleaning my virtual cat box everyday and showing you how to gain the most experience points by using screen shots and easy to follow instructions. Here is a reprint of the 411 of the final Mafia Wars Event.


Mafia Wars Assassination 411 & FAQ
Updated 03/03/2011 - 11:59 PM

Mafia Wars Assassination - Mission Event (Ends 31st March 2011)

Seasons change, and from April, we would like our Mafia Wars players to take pleasure in playing our other games. We would like to change your Mafia Wars addiction in an unprecedented way.

Q: Mafia Wars is closing, why?

A: We have some major complaints from our other game developers because none of you even bother to  play the other games from Zynga and thus part of the storyline involves the closing down of Mafia Wars. This really frustrates our game developers as they didn’t receive any compliments/suggestions for their work (relating our other Games). If any glitch or bug persists there is no one to complain or take advantage of the same. We have commissioned a team of Top Qualified Agents and with whole and sole discretion, we finally decided to wind-up Mafia Wars.

Q: What do you mean closing?

A: Mafia Wars will no longer be accessible. It will be grayed out on our Website and any attempts to get to Mafia Wars will be stopped with a popup. You will not be able to access any features of Mafia Wars. All your progress will be frozen in the game but the good thing is your Mafia Wars account will be in the safe custody in our servers. So at times when you wish to see your Accounts Highlight, feel free to mail us and we would send you a photocopy of the same in your mail id provided.

Q: When will this happen?

A: Time is not yet predicted but is sure to say that this can happen anytime. Don’t get amazed when one Morning you wake-up, sitting beside your computer system or laptop, along with a cup of hot coffee and try to login to Mafia Wars, and you get shocked to see – Mafia Wars Assassination.

Q: Is this permanent?

A: Mafia Wars will be closed for the foreseeable future.

Q: What if I have my unspent Reward Points in the game?

A: In order to get back your Reward Points you will need to loot Godfather Ancestors Property (GAP). This can be done only through jobs and fights (but not robs) in any city. For every 50 GAP looted, your other Zynga Game Account will be created with 1 RP. But if you don’t play our other Games then feel free to curse us, as we don’t mind.

Q: What about my In-game progression in Mafia Wars?

A: As said earlier, your account shall be preserved rightfully within our server. Sooner, Mafia Wars will be a story of past.

Q: What if I don't leave Mafia Wars and stick to it?

A: You shall be thrown out of the server by our guards specially appointed for this.

Q: But I like Mafia Wars!

A: But we would like to see users like our other games. “I love Mafia Wars” will be an old story in the near future.

Customer Support is not authorized to offer any compensation to players who have accounts in Mafia Wars. If you have any feedback or opinions about this event, please visit -http://getsatisfaction.com/mafia_wars/.
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The above was a 411 Spoof created by Arvind Jain. If you make comments indicating that you actually believed it then you will make yourself look stupid. In this case, it's best to comment anonymously.

33 comments:

  1. I have spent almost 2 years on this game...I will NOT switch. I will just be done with Zynga.

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  2. EARLY APRIL FOOLS - LOVE IT

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  3. lol - Happy April Fool's Day! A bit early this year?

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  4. There is no way I am admitting I believed it! Un uh... no way!

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  5. Displayed above is a classic case of "I failed reading comprehension 101"............

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  6. you had me worried for a minute -- but I'd reclaim my life if MW went bye bye ;-)

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  7. that's some funny $hit

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  8. wow,,i almost had a heart attack when i started reading that lol,,took me a minute or 2 to realise it was spoof :)

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  9. I think this one should have been held back for a month. It would have been great to find it for April Fool's. What a way to really freak out the whiners, looters, dealers, etc. LOL ... I Love It!

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  10. don't want to play other games

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  11. I will never play another Zynga game. If Mafia Wars did close I would recover several hours out of my day for real life living and my spouse will do the happy dance for a month. As it is with all the spamfests I have begun to contemplate freeing myself from this click monkey behavior I've been sucked into for nearly two years. If I hadn't spent so much money to play...I'd be gone already.

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  12. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :/ i got suckerd in

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  13. will be kissing zynga goodbye if this is true

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  14. people have spent good money buying reward points...so if u think zygna is closing mw...u must be nuts

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  15. There's a small grain of truth in this. Zynga is not only losing market share to other things, such as *AHEM* REAL LIFE, World of Warcraft, and the economy, but making people quit the game over recent events like perpetual beg-a-thons and URGENT (!) city shutdowns. I've lost 10 FB friends over it this week alone.

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  16. i was kinda thinking has zynga gone mad...lol..then get the 411 side of it..lol

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  17. So, you're opening line is: "This is a SPOOF!" and some morons still believe it? Maybe they should shut down all these games and require people to go back to school...and pay attention this time!

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  18. World of Warcraft is a completely different type of game, and it is awesome. I have 12,000+ hours spent there. If you think this game is addictive don't go there. However, if this game has become slow or lost it's charm, go for it. The interactive graphics will blow you away. The one downside is that it is not free...

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    Replies
    1. 60.00 plus for the game and upgrade packages for about the same, the good news is server usage is only 15.00 a month. Yes the graphics are awesome and rare did I see issues with slow servers. But there are a few drawbacks when it comes to leveling and loot. Best thing to do is to talk to people who have played for several years to see if it is a game you wish to invest in.

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  19. Zynga Game DeveloperMarch 3, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Unemployment time for me.

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  20. Hahahaaaa... That's really suck to hear it.. i will put Zynga and their developers in hitlist every it claimed

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  21. I think my heart stopped..

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  22. Damn, would have been nice to be done with it finally.

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  23. They might as well. The game has become super boring. There are so many outdated things in this game it is ridiculous. Daily chance, most all of the loot, crime spree vault thing...it is also becoming almost impossible to level more than twice in one day. If they don't find a way to keep players engaged rather than enraged then they should shut down. The game just can't run on auto pilot anymore, Zynga. I don't even think these folks even play this game. I honestly don't even know why I play anymore.

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    1. You have access to 3 refills a day, london and brazil 3 times a day gift bonuses of 25% in both energy and stamina, family progression which should easily give you another 40k a day in experience and you can't manage to level up more than twice a day? I remember having 1 energy refill, no family progression, no london or brazil bonuses, doing moscow energy jobs and getting 6 clicks a day on jobs that were 1% which gave returns of i.89 experience and you think you got it bad? Mafia wars is not a game to play on auto pilot, maybe that is your problem

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  24. did my family create this to get me off the computer?

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  25. “I love Mafia Wars” will be an old story in the near future. ---- true though.

    Been playing for almost 2 years and back in June, there were lots of us who were addictive with the game. But now, my co-players stopped playing because Zynga kept changing things.. Only few left and I only stayed because of trading...but now.. Even trading is dead. So gonna say bye-bye too to MW.


    Very interesting blog though! It scared most players for sure :)

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  26. i knew it!

    they are going to change the name from MAFIA WARS to Hunting Gifts Wars or Beggar Wars, due to violation in business conduct, especially in misleading product on offer - act 3311.

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  27. I look forward to playing pet wars. Dibs on the cats, they're mine!

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  28. I m planning for months now.. to stop playing Mafia.. But I cant stop playing.. I never paid any money to buy any stupid mafia stuff.. But I would love to pay mafia if they stop this game for ever... That will be a good end to my mafia ADDICTION.... ~(••)~

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  29. mafia stops i am gone ........I only play mafia as it interacts better then any other game and i find the other games tedious ................but then your not closing any way :)

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  30. I dont given fuck ! if they want this then fuck you zygna ! forever

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